Most people do not like discomfort, and new things are usually uncomfortable.

So, instead of getting used to the discomfort and expanding their comfort zones, people often stick with what they know - even when they don't like what they know.

When people stay in the same comfort zones too long, they begin to lose sight of their self-ideals; unless people have their self-ideals to keep them striving, their self-esteem plummets.

So how can you to change this pattern?

One: You must remember your self-ideal.  You need to imagine the ideal you and remind yourself who you want to be.  You must recall what you wanted as a child, when you still had faith in yourself and believed that you mattered.

Two: You must take a clear look at your self-image and ask yourself to pick one or two habits that are keeping you from growing into your ideal.

Three: You must create a strategy where you can do one thing daily to move your self-image towards your self-ideal.  The steps should be MASTERed; measurable, accountable, specific, timely, exciting and realistic.  Do not create an overwhelming goal that you cannot achieve.  You must prove to yourself that you are capable of keeping the promises that you make to yourself.

Slowly, as you accomplish each MASTERed goal, your self-image will begin to move towards your self-ideal and your comfort zone will gradually expand.  As you continue to move towards your ideal, you will begin to feel capable of making a difference in your life.  Once you begin to feel capable, your self-esteem will rise.

People do not change overnight.  People improve with the tiniest of baby steps.  Steps that keep them moving progressively towards their ideals.  So, if you do one tiny thing each day to bring your self-image in alignment with your self-ideal, your self-esteem will grow...

From A River Worth Riding: Fourteen Rules for Navigating Life, copyright, Lynn Marie Sager 2005